Josker Family Blog

Time to Reflect

2011-06-25T13:24:00.000-04:00

Today I have been very reflective. One would think that since we are done with the legally finalizing of J's adoption that life just moves on with no looking back. Really that is not the case. We are constantly moving forward, but we must not forget where we came from.

I was reminded of this just yesterday. A dear friend received a call much like I did Saturday May 8, 2010. I still remember that day. I remember the physical heart wrenching pain and the tears that just wouldn't go away. I remember it as if it was just yesterday. But I also remember the day we received a different kind of phone call. The phone call that made my heart stop for another reason and that changed our lives forever. I think it is important to remember both of those emotions and the strength in both of them because on a day like today it reminds me how precious life is. How short it can be; how nothing is guaranteed or owed to us. Each day that we have as a family is a precious gift from God and small things like a disagreement with a colleague or stress are not worth the time we tend to put into them.

Take 2 at Blogging

2011-06-13T11:54:00.000-04:00

So it really has been a long time since I have posted, but I am at a place right now where we have a lot of different things going on so I see blogging as my new outlet. I like that it makes me think about what and how I am going to say things before I submit them to cyberspace, and I like the reflection on the things going on in our life.

First of all; it is absolutely crazy to believe that Jonathan is a year old now. WOW! Where has the past year gone. It is hard to believe he has gone from this little peanut

to such a silly little boy...

So much has happened with Jonathan in this year. He has truly changed our lives and our hearts forever in the best way possible. Between allergies, asthma, anemia, opening communication with his birthmother, and the day to day fun of life; we are constantly on our toes.

Zack is also working hard to finish his degree while working rotating shift work which sometimes makes for some crazy scheduling. He is trying get that finished before we PCS to a new duty station.

Speaking of; it is hard to believe we are coming to the end of our time in upstate NY. So much has changed at this duty station, but God has been so amazing to us and I cannot wait to see where we go from here!

Thoughts for the Day

2010-04-07T09:18:00.002-04:00

So I have come to the realization that I am a really bad blogger. I just have a hard time and I am not sure why. I think maybe because blogging forces me to deal with all the emotions and things that I am feeling as I type them out there into the world wide web.

My perspective has changed alot lately. From day 1 going into adoption; we knew we wanted to participate in an open adoption, but here lately I have been really feeling like I might have an inkling of what that means for us. And even more then that; I am very at peace with it. On top of it we have been dabbling in the world of fertility medications. Only the tip of the iceberg (ovulation inducing meds only) but I still am questioning whether or not this is the right place for us to be. I mean I don't think there is anything wrong with it, but I really am just not sure we are supposed to biologically reproduce. And I think I might be finally getting to a place where that is ok.

Thankfully God has blessed me with enough work with private lessons and my little monster to keep me more than busy to very often dwell on our lack of being able to conceive. I am definitely dealing with it, but more than conceiving a baby; I just want to be a mom. To be there, to support, unconditionally love and take care of a child; that's really all I want. I welcome a first mom (natural mom) and/or first dad to be a part of that. I am not threatened by their being a part of the child they conceived's life. I have gained so much respect for and compassion for first parents in the past few months. I enjoy reading blogs by first parents to try to see as much as I can from their perspective. I think it is important to try to be understanding on all sides of the adoption triad.

With everything I read; I just feel that more reaffirmed that even though we are just waiting and have been for almost 8 months; this is where we are supposed to be. I know everything will work itself out in God's time; even if it means He removes my desire to be a mom away. It has taken me a LONG time to truly be at peace with that...

Homestudy paperwork ALMOST done!

2009-05-20T13:13:00.000-04:00

Hi everyone in cyberspace.. I can't believe it but we are almost done with our homestudy paperwork. Who would have thunk it? We are planning on submitting it next week and then we sit back and we wait! Wait to hear the next step; wait to see if this is still God's plan for our life. We are learning that it is not the end of the world to wait. What does not kill you only makes you stronger. OK now I have to stop because I am starting to sound cliche.. So until next time!

Formal Application Approved... Homestudy Begun

2009-05-10T16:01:00.002-04:00

We are in the process of completing the home study paperwork. It is fairly daunting, but also exciting. We have until the end of the month to complete the paperwork, and then they will evaluate and start scheduling appointments for meetings. The process is actually not taking as long as we anticipated it would on this side of the process.

We are just daily placing it in God's hands that He will guide us and allow us to keep following His plan for us in this.

updates from Zack

2009-04-14T09:50:00.003-04:00

So it has been a while since Joy has had a chance to put an update on here...so here is my attempt however pittiful it might end up being. Things have been going well for Joy and I at church. We are both getting involved in our own ways. Joy has been playing with the worship team for two weeks now and it appears that she will be doing this until we are no longer with the church. I have been trying to learn the sound board and presentation software as quickly as I can...and so far so good.

Work has been good for me, things are starting to move very quickly now that we are not dealing with the holds that we have had in the past. I am getting close to finishing and being more usefully around the shop and maybe even one day get to train students...but that is still to come. It looks like middle of May at the earliest before my life might get a little better than being a staff in qual.

The weather is finally starting to get better than the snow that we have been getting up until about a month ago. Maybe one day soon I won't have to wear a jacket everytime I go out the door.

I hope that gets everyone as caught up as I can...talk to ya later on

I'm a Slacker!

2009-03-22T21:56:00.002-04:00

So I know I have been a slacker in posting so I thought I would give a brief Joy/Zack update! We are doing well. We have both really been getting involved in church lately! We are both doing bible studies with the men and women groups at church. Zack has been approached about the possibility of helping out on the sound board, and Joy has been approached about playing keyboard with the praise group! It is really exciting, and we are making new friends almost daily it seems.

Joy has been spending some time with our across the street neighbor Sam, and she and Joy are planning a group whitewater rafting trip down the Hudson River for the summer when it warms up! (Of course the husbands will be allowed to join our craziness!)

Joy is also doing Arbonne parties and it is helping her gain some extra income as well as meeting some new and awesome people! People here really are so friendly!!

Remember to Post!

2009-03-02T21:44:00.002-05:00

I was so kindly reminded today that I have not posted in awhile. It has been crazy the past week. I finally remembered what it was like to be a woman this weekend. Uggghhh. But on the positive side we can get back to trying to expand our family again. However my appointment with my doctor today reminded me not to get my hopes up that due to my months of no ovulation that each month without ovulation lowers a woman's fertility.

However I have plenty to keep me busy. I (Joy) start working with a new child on Monday; my 5 weekly music lessons, and now with my new Arbonne endeavor. I am excited about something my National VP said to me today. "You can't say the wrong thing to the right person." And if that is true then my biggest responsibility is to share the fun and awesomeness that I have found in the Arbonne products and if it fits with someone else then it will work.

So on a completely different note.. It snowed again today. Just when we thought it was melting and we were seeing some grass; we got another inch or two today. Oh well. I still think it is pretty.

First Blog

2009-02-15T23:22:00.001-05:00

Ok... so this is my first attempt at blogging. I figured it would be a good way to keep up with people beyond what I get to talk to immediate family about. I also thought it would be a good way to vent and just express what is going on in life. This weekend has been wonderful because it has been the first Valentines Day that Zack and I have gotten to spend together. I don't think it would have mattered what we did yesterday as long as we were together. I am a little nervous about the tests that I will be having this next week, but at least at the end of this week we will know or should know what the problem is. Then we can decide what the next step is for us.... Anyways, I probably should end this post for now because I have to go wake up Zack so that he will be ready for work in a bit.